In a 2016 interview with journalist Lesley Stahl on the CBS program 60 Minutes, then-candidate Donald J. Trump said, “I think I am actually humble. I think I’m much more humble than you would understand.” The irony in this statement is that humility—the virtue of being humble—isn’t exactly for us to self-identify. It’s a strange thing, really. We’re called to be humble. But as soon as we open our mouths to acknowledge our humility, we essentially demonstrate that we don’t possess it. It seems like a paradox. When we don’t understand the virtue of humility appropriately, we can find ourselves in trouble. We can say something disproving our humility, or we can go the other direction and put ourselves down so much that we do ourselves a disservice. So what exactly is humility and how to do we live humble lives and still hold our heads up high?
Scripture is peppered with examples of humility. During the Sermon on the Mount in Chapter 5 of Matthew’s gospel, Jesus says, “Blessed are the meek.” Later, in Matthew 23:13, he says “He who exalts himself will be humbled and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” In Paul’s letter to the Philippians (2:8-9), he wrote about Jesus: “He humbled himself and become obedient to death, even death on the cross. Therefore, God so highly exalted him and gave him a name above all other names.” The Virgin Mary, the mother of Jesus, has the devotion of many Christians worldwide because of her humility. Many of the saints are known and respected for their humility, and society seems to admire humility as a trait. Mother Teresa, Pope Francis, Martin Luther King Jr., the Dalai Lama, and Desmond Tutu are all figures of present day or recent memory who are known for their humility. Interestingly enough, none of them are known for telling others about their humility. Bragging, or the vice of pride, is essentially the opposite of humility.
So we know humility is not pride or boastfulness. But how do we live humble lives? When I was a child, I was taught the importance of being humble. And the way I interpreted the lessons I was taught was that I shouldn’t be boastful. I didn’t want to be a braggart. I didn’t want to be a showboat. I didn’t want to be cocky. Instead, I went to the other extreme and I had virtually no self-confidence. If pride is bad, then I certainly shouldn’t be proud of myself! The problem with this kind of thinking is that there are different kinds of pride. There is the vice of pride, which includes boastfulness and showboating. But there’s a different kind of pride that isn’t problematic. The good kind of pride is, as St. Augustine called it, self-love. It is perfectly appropriate to be proud of who we are. It is appropriate to be proud of our loved ones. God the Father expressed pride in Jesus when he said, “This is my Son, the beloved, with whom I am well-pleased” (Matt. 3:17). When we don’t make the necessary distinctions between the types of pride, we can easily become confused. For me, this always took the form of selling myself short, being afraid to fail, and refusing to take credit for any of my accomplishments.
In December of 1531 a young man named Juan Diego met a woman, whom identified herself as Mary the mother of Jesus. The woman didn’t look like the European images of Mary he had seen in the churches he had visited. Mexico had been colonized by Spain, and the ruling classes were those from Europe. The indigenous peoples, of whom Juan Diego was one, were seen as lower class. The imagery in artwork featured people with light-colored skin. But this woman, who would later become known as Our Lady of Guadalupe, had skin the same color as that of the indigenous people. Our Lady of Guadalupe appeared to Juan Diego as a statement that in God’s eyes, all people are important. But Juan Diego did not believe he was worthy of her visit. He asked the lady why she would appear to him. Surely, Juan Diego said, someone more deserving ought to greet the mother of his Lord. Juan Diego did not want to be seen as prideful or boastful. He wanted to maintain his humility. Yet in attempting to do so, he demonstrated he was wrong. He sold himself short. He did not honor his own self-worth. He believed he was lesser-than. He erred in failing to recognize his own human dignity.
Juan Diego isn’t the only person in history who has neglected his own self-worth. I have done this virtually all my life. I’m guessing there’s a chance you have, too. I become uncomfortable when someone pays me a compliment. When someone acknowledges something positive I’ve said or done or made them feel, I tend to deflect. Surely that person must be mistaken! But when we take this kind of attitude, we need to acknowledge that, like Juan Diego, we are wrong. In Mark 12:31, Jesus tells us to love our neighbors as ourselves. It is pretty common to think of this as a reminder to love others. But it’s actually a two-way street. Indeed, Jesus is telling us to love others. But he’s also telling us that we have to love ourselves. If we love someone else, we have to also practice self-love to an equal extent. It is a good thing to acknowledge our gifts and talents. Referring to the earlier quote by our former president, I think his statement could have been more effective had he said something like, “I believe I would make a good president because of the following gifts and talents I have.” Notice the difference? That doesn’t sound boastful and it still communicates self-confidence.
This, like many things, is a personal area that requires dedication to life-long learning. If you’ve been following these daily reflections, then you know that I like to model pieces of my life that cause me struggle and difficulty. I think it’s important for you to know that your priest is not perfect. But it is also important for me to acknowledge that I do have gifts and talents. Not in a boastful way, but in a confident way. I have a love for writing, and God has blessed me with an ability to put words together effectively. I have a reasonably good singing voice. I have a love and knowledge of the liturgies and the rites of the Church, and a solid understanding of Christian worship. I have my strengths, and I have my (to use today’s corporate slang) “growing edges.” I’m not exactly what you’d call a “buttoned up” kind of guy. Instead of fine wine and cheese, I like cheap beer and pizza. Instead of a suit, I’m much more comfortable in an oversized aloha shirt, shorts, and sandals. My desk is messy and my brain is scattered. I think it’s valuable to acknowledge that we each have gifts and we each have challenges. Recognizing them can help us to paint a fuller, more accurate picture of who we are as people. It can also help us to know where we might like to focus and work harder. My wife would love it, for instance, if I worked on being not quite so messy. Take some time today to acknowledge your gifts. Be proud of the person God made you to be. And be proud of the people in your life that you love. After all, you are made in the image of a loving God.